The First Month: What No One Told Me

How can it be that you are one month old already?!  Seriously, where has the time gone?  It feels like just yesterday that we welcomed you into this world.  But I feel like you have always been a part of our little family. 

It feels so natural to be a family of three.  There is never a dull moment in our days and our arms are never empty.  We are absolutely in love with you.  HOWEVER, I feel like there was so much I was unprepared for.  Why was I never told this or warned before I had a baby?!

Your marriage grows by leaps and bounds.  All I heard was that your marriage suffers and gets put on the back burner.  But our marriage got better!  I have never felt more happy and in love with your daddy.  I went to bed every night feeling truly blessed.

The entire first month is trial and error.  And that’s ok.  Today it may be bouncing that calms you down but tomorrow it may be swinging.  It is never the same thing. 

Just because the baby is crying does not mean you have done something wrong or are a bad mom.  I constantly had to remind myself that sometimes babies just cry.  You just got ripped out of your environment that you were used to where you were constantly fed and always warm.  This new environment was big and confusing to you.  There was so much commotion going on and you had to cry to get what you wanted.  That would be enough to make me want to cry all the time too!

It’s perfectly acceptable to feel frustrated.  Just don’t take it out on the baby!  Some people really struggle with this.  Your daddy and I took thirty minute shifts when you were crying nonstop.  That really helped to keep us sane. 

The baby WILL get their sleep schedule figured out on your own.  Don’t obsess and worry about putting your baby on a schedule.  They will do it all on your own.  Sometimes it just takes 6 weeks…but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You will grow to love breastfeeding.  It may be the most challenging thing about your first month, but will quickly grow to be your favorite.  We loved this bonding time together and I wouldn’t give it up for the world.

The love for your baby trumps your sleep deprivation.  It’s true.  Sleep deprivation was the one thing I worried about when I was pregnant…and it was the one thing that DID NOT MATTER.

Don’t worry about keeping your house picked up.  I did not pay any attention to this advice because I cannot stand clutter.  Looking back though, it would have been time better spent cuddling with you instead.

Make Daddy help out at night.  Your daddy would hear you cry, change your diaper and then bring you to me to nurse.  When you are up every two hours to nurse, it is the little things like this that make all the difference to your sleep deprived self. 

Your mommy instincts kick in.  So don’t worry about not knowing what to do with your baby when she is upset and crying.  Your instincts just take over and before you know it, your baby is happy again.

You get the same amount of hours of sleep…just broken up into 2-3 hour stretches.  I thought I would be getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night.  Nope.  I was getting 9 hours…just not nine hours straight.  Your exhaustion is more from a little person needing you 24 hours a day. 

You won’t remember what free time is like.  Because you won’t have any.  It will feel like that stage will last for forever, but it won’t.  When the baby is sleeping, hand her off and take a shower…it will be the highlight of your day, trust me. 

You can never spoil a newborn…but you can get them TOO used to being held.  You were held constantly while awake and sleeping your first month…and anytime you were set down…you screamed until you were picked up again.  We are still working on training you out of this one.

Sleeping till noon is perfectly acceptable.  You may feel like a teenager again and that half of your day is gone…but those extra hours of sleep are precious!  

Not all newborns know how to fall or stay asleep on their own.  I was shocked with this one!  I was led to believe that newborns slept all the time.  You would scream and cry all day long until you were bounced/rocked to sleep.  I finally figured out that you were overtired and that was why you were so fussy.  So once I saw you start to yawn, I would start rocking you…and it decreased your fussiness sand made you such a happy baby overall!

You won’t remember what eating leisurely feels like.  You will have to take turns eating dinner.  You either have to wait and smell your dinner for ten minutes or scarf your food down so fast you won’t even taste it. 

Take pictures everyday…as many as you can.  You will love looking back on them and seeing how much the baby has changed.  I wish I had taken more.  It was crazy to see how much you grew in just four weeks.  Mamas, you will feel heartbroken when you pack away those newborn sized clothing.  You want your baby to stay small for forever!

The entire first month is one big learning curve.  Your Daddy and I learned more in those thirty days than we did in four years of college.  We learned to use our instincts and rely on each other for support.  And because of that, we made it through our first month!

We love you so much little one and cannot wait to see what the next month brings us!

Mommy and Daddy


About our guest…

I’m Sarah, a twenty-something  military wife to the most wonderful husband.  Most importantly, we are parents-to-be to a little girl due in January.  I am a full-time nanny and a proud mama to our Labradoodle, Raury.  I started this blog to document my life as newlywed, military spouse (yes, these are two separate things), daughter of God, nanny/faux parent, recipes, photography and my path to motherhood.

Visit Sarah at The Not Quite Military Wife.

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2 comments on “The First Month: What No One Told Me

  1. Jelli on said:

    What a cute post. I loved those photos! Your little one is super super sweet. I found out most of these things the hard way too, but really enjoyed that 1st month. God willing, I’ll have another baby to enjoy those first weeks with this summer.

  2. Pamela on said:

    Beautiful post! Love all the adorable pictures!

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